Small changes

 

Another brief gathering of words to start summing up my story and start charting my progress.
Here is a picture of me on 3rd August 2011.

 

Here is another picture of me in September 2012.

 

Yes, I know there is still some way to go but the journey was never going to be a miracle. In fact it is not just a journey of weight it is also a journey of health and well being.

In the first picture I can barely describe to you how I felt without feeling tearful. I loathed myself for the way I looked but I was also feeling so very ill. I experienced chronic pain everyday and had done for several months. I blamed my weight entirely and so did the doctors until the pain started in my arms which they found more difficult to put down to my weight alone. Every joint seemed to hurt. I was on a huge amount of tablets and often felt that I was taking tablets for the symptoms of other tablets. I had been ill since March 2011 and had gone through numerous tests for a huge array of symptoms.

Every type of blood test. Cameras up, down, around. Scans. And still I felt dreadful and nothing was properly diagnosed.
Finally in September 2011 they discovered Lupus, with Fibromyalgia symptoms (which are also really part of the Lupus) and a blood condition called Antiphospholipid symdrome (APS) which often also goes hand in hand with Lupus.

Lupus is an autoimmune disease in which the body attacks itself in various ways. Some of the symptoms being exhaustion (yes), joint pain (YES), despression (yes), thinning hair (yes), brain fog (yes), skin sensitivity (yes) and insomnia (yes).
I started to make changes. I am still adding a new habit or taking away an old habit, every 21 days. Tiny steps, tiny changes, all with a bit of patience, make the biggest difference.

Here I am in another picture, challenging myself to abseil this year (I am scared of heights!)